Truth

Maybe you already know this about me, but I find it very difficult to be happy for someone who got what they wanted when I deem them unworthy.  This does not even have to be that they got something I wanted.  It may be true that it is something that I deem myself more worthy of, but that is not a part of the equation.  I get lots of good stuff, some I deserve and some I do not deserve, so it balances in my mind, at least.  But when I feel a person is unworthy of something they were awarded or otherwise received, I feel that the committee awarding it must have made a mistake. I must consider  my judgement skills to be of a very high order.  This from a person who prefaces just about every sentence with, "I am not one to cast judgement. . ."  Yeah, we all know the next word is usually "but. . ."

Well, at least I have a wide variety of rationalizations , or, what some may call reasons, at my immediate disposal.  Like I'm not on that list this week cuz I didn't do the promoting I should have, when I myself freely admit I reserve a certain amount of effort just so I don't have to say, "Damn.  I gave it everything I could and I still failed."

So sad to never know what I might have accomplished had I been brave enough to go all out--for anything--ever.




Photo source:  cover illustration from Watty Piper's "The Little Engine That Could"