Hiding

One of the things that annoy me most of all is when people underestimate me. Sure I lead a pretty marginalized existence, trying to get the gas company to turn my service back on again, enduring ice cold showers cuz I can't talk 'em into it, and I can't come up with the money for it. So I guess that means I must be kind of dumb. To continue to live the way I do for so many years must mean I have some sort of basic deficiency. Especially when I am unable to define to myself what it is about my relationships with my family members that keep me "here" instead of walking away. Perhaps, rather than stupidity, I suffer from laziness, or fear, or inertia, or maybe caring. Whatever, Ditty, you signed up for it so suck it up and quit complaining. But when people assume that also means I'm too stupid to know how to turn on a computer, or use Google or follow a link, then I get pissed off. When people say or do things without considering the repercussions, the boomerang effect maybe. Well. Then who is stupid? Paranoia is learned. Brilliance is inherited. And facetiousness? Well, I can't come up with a quick answer for that one. I guess I'll have to look it up in the dictionary. But I think it may be one of those things that, if you don't recognize it right up front, then there is no fucking point in trying to explain it.