I Call Bull Shit

Making over a turn of phrase that, when analysed, is in fact  contradiction at best and a mixed metaphor at the least and saying it is such good poetic language.  Fuck that.  I may write like a third grader, but I am not pretentious about it at all.  And a couple of grown ups have said I don't write like a third grader.  I think this bull shit phrase turning is not the same as telling a story.  And that is what I do.  I tell stories about people.  Things happen, but I don't tell stories about things that happen.  I tell stories about the people the things happen to.  Because that is the way life  struck me.  I am a person that things happened to,and they keep on happening. Like rain from hell.   And that is what I am made of, the way I handled the things that happened and what those things did to me.  The person. If you never before in your life saw me, and you struck up a conversation with me, you would take me at face value.  You wouldn't know how I retaliate, how I hurt, how I inflict pain, how I have handled pain.  So if I told you the things that happened to me, you would have to relate that to the person you are talking to.  And I would have to tell you a story. And  I would fucking weep.

Versatile Blogger Award

I feel like I am piloting a ship into uncharted waters here.  I am supposed to list seven formerly unknown things about me.
1. I wear my pjs inside out so the seams don't irritate me.
2.  My husband really was on a Seal Support team in the Navy so I do know a little about it.
3.  I never dyed my hair.
4.  I would drink two milk shakes at lunch in high school to try and gain weight.  Ha Ha on me.
5.  I still get terrible crushes on people.  Inappropriate at my age.
6.  I smoked tons of dope when I was thirty-ish
7.  The last few pages of LAWMAN is the best thing I ever wrote and maybe that anyone wrote.  And too bad if you don't know that.  You should.

Wow. That was fun.  I wish you had to list ten cuz I was just getting warmed up.

Now, I am supposed to list five blogs for the Versatile Blogger Award. Not easy cuz I am kind of a blog whore.

1.  Roy York at Grandpa York cuz he is too good to be true for a variety of reasons and he is a great cheerleader.  Also very good with the written word.
2.  Lyra at Lyrical Meanderings, because she has cute kids and works very hard.
3. pascal campion at pascal campion cuz I love his work and I am trying to butter him up.
4.  Betsy Lerner at BetsyLerner.com because her blog is almost the same as dope to me. And I am not too sure about the real name of the actual blog.
5. Burton Book Reviews because it is lovely and my oeuvre.

If I am supposed to convert these into links, I am really sorry.  I wept today because I found a tiny program to successfully disable caps lock, so I celebrate my non-techiness. Use Google, guys. That's what it's for.