MOB ACTION: a misdemeanor arrestable offense

This just happened in the last few hours in a rough area of a city that will not be named. Tell me, honestly, from your gut and heart, without any politically  correct  bull shit, do you have to ask the race of these people?  The situation is, of this moment, unresolved, and several similar incidents occur regularly, many times each week.  Who was in danger?  Who was at fault?  If you are not in the trenches, don't comment on the war. 

All times are approximate. Conveyed verbally to me. Not my personal experience.

Patient was brought to ICU room 119 at 2000 after code blue on floor. Patient coded at 2016. Pulse returned, and family members were allowed to bedside two at a time. Patient coded again at 2050. While staff were running code, patient family members were congregating at the doorway of the room, yelling at staff to "Do something!". Security was called for crowd control purposes. Patient expired at approximately 2105. ER Dr. went to family waiting room, where approximately 30 family members were waiting at request of security. When ER doctor informed the crowd that family member had passed away, all of the family members began screaming and charging through the waiting room doors. Security officer was attempting to restrain them all from charging into the ICU, but there were too many of them pushing him and screaming. They pushed past him, scratching his arms and drawing blood in the process. Code grey was called at 2108. One more security officer arrived to room 119 in response to code grey. One security officer was standing in the doorway of the room, attempting to prevent them all from running into the room at the same time. Several staff members attempted to explain that the family needed to remain calm and they would all be allowed to see the patient in an orderly fashion. At least five family members were shoving the security officer in the room's doorway, and screaming that they were going to "Beat the shit outta y'all". I attempted to call the nursing supervisor (who had NOT been present at either of the code blues or the code grey) and after four failed attempts to reach the supervisor's portable phone, I called the operator and asked her to page the supervisor overhead at approx 2114. She offered to call the supervisor's portable phone, and I told her I had already done that several times, to no avail. She then said that she would page her. After three minutes of not hearing an overhead page, I called the operator back and asked her to please "overhead" page the supervisor, in the event that this was an emergency situation. At that time, she overhead (e.g.:  by PA system) paged the supervisor. During this time, every single one of the patient's family members was standing in the hallway of the unit, wailing and screaming multiple obscenities. All the other patients on the unit were disturbed. Other patient family members were afraid to walk down the hallway to exit the unit. Several staff members, including myself, were taken away from providing care for their respective patients. When the nursing supervisor arrived, I told her that this group of family members was overpowering security and the situation was continually escalating, instead of calming down. She informed me she was going to call the CNO, because "her husband is a cop, and maybe he can do something under the radar". Then she left the immediate area.

At this time, I decided the only option to ensure the safety of the staff (nurses and security) was to call (redacted) Police. I called 911 and explained the situation to them and requested their presence.  

(Further remarks on resolution in comments.  Your opinions are requested and respected.)

BANDINI

(If you actually read this, at the end google bandini.   There are so many restaurants with that word in the name it is to laugh.)

I never heard of Bandini until I met my husband.  It is the brand name of a then popular kind of fertilizer that was cow manure--bull shit, actually.  So "Bandini" was used euphemistically in some more proper circles when someone wanted to call someone out for bullshitting, figuratively speaking.

I get restless watching TV and I spend way too much time on the computer for one reason or another.  I had the habit of commenting on everything, inserting my two cents rather anonymously, although I never made a secret of who I was.  The truth is, I don't socialize much in real life.  My aggravation threshold is very low.  Step over it and I have to leave, right away usually.

So for one reason or another, I came across this blog and the admin said he had received this story on one of his confessional blogs and what was our take on it.  It was a story about a female that had five or six friends with benefits at the same time and then she moved away and she missed them and how good she felt when they emailed her and said they missed her also.  It did not comment on whether she felt victorious for functioning like this or felt guilt, or felt shame, or even felt shallow.  She just commented on that stage in her life and was not asking for judgement or advice.  The admin merely asked our take on it and I sounded off after several people roundly criticized her.  I mentioned that I could not imagine five or six guys going along with that but if even one of them felt he needed fidelity she either had to give him fidelity or leave him out of the loop and no one should judge.  It was up to her if she preferred to act that way if she was responsible and honest.

Okay?  Shit storm.  Several people said it would come back to bite her on the ass that when she wanted a serious relationship the paramour would judge her on her past behaviors and I mentioned briefly that he shouldn't, that levels of trust had to be equitable, etc.  One person said she was sorry for her reply.  I said there was no reason for that and she went on and on about why she offered the apology and the spirit it was offered in and how she felt I should respond to it.  So I said, "I am leaving this discussion.  Your remarks are self-serving and not part of what the conversation was about."  So she and the admin messaged me a few times and the admin said he hoped the two of us would kiss and make up and the atmosphere was supposed to be friendly.

She was a troll and she was trying to pick a fight so the discourse would continue.  It could have continued ad infinitum if the participants had kept the conversation relevant to the original proposition.  But she was intellectually incapable of that  (yeah I am a snob) and referred in her remarks that if her "presumed future boyfriend" was a "DJ" and talked to other girls, etc.  WTF.  Is she twelve?  Also I looked up his "other" blogs. He said he had been so busy because one got over 200 spams a day.  They did not/do not exist. 

When he said he hoped we would kiss and make up she said, "Awww.  When you said we should 'kiss and make up' I got all smiley and had little fits of giggles."  I though I might barf.  I cannot tell you how judgmental the thoughts in my mind were concerning every aspect of her biography.  And I venture now to say they were probably spot on.   I am surprised I actually did not say anything,  I am glad that my ability to tolerate this bullshit has improved so much that I stuck to my guns and did not comment any further. 

I feel like they let the air out of my balloon.  I am having so much trouble working on my WIP which I like so much I have even researched about it.  I feel like a spark is gone.  I feel that everyone is either a complete ninny or an insane anarchist. I feel like I finally have been completely smothered under a truckload of Bandini.

The Beingness of Me

I don't know if it is how I was raised, or the size of my amygdala, or the mercury from the broken thermometer I played with, (you can make it walk down the stairs like a Slinky) but I think I have always had a concept of who I am, and I don't think it has changed much. I can remember talking to a friend when I was seven about what color I wanted to paint my new bike and I wanted it to be blue and green and she said that would be ugly. And, distinctly, I remember not arguing the point with her and thinking instead, she is just kidding about that or trying to be contrary, cuz blue and green would not be ugly. I didn't need to mention it to her cuz I knew blue and green would not be ugly. Just like, age five, telling the nun my coat is a pea coat. "And tomorrow it will be a "Q" coat", she responded. No insult. I knew she wasn't impugning my intellect or my vast five year storehouse of knowledge. I very simply KNEW, the poor thing, that her dad was not in the Navy.

And then, you are friends with someone forever and a day and you have shared way too much intimate detail about your life with that person, and suddenly, one day, you realize that the person she was friends with all these years is someone she thought you were, and not who you are at all.

I am so sick and tired of putting up with bullshit in the name of love. I am sure, if you did a search, you would find that phrase in my blog, over and over. I have given up so much of my life, and still do, in terms of time, of myself, of my energy, of my values, of my beliefs, in the name of love. And sometimes you have to. There is just no other choice. If you love someone, you have to be all fucking flexible and understanding cuz you love that person. But sometimes you don't have to. Sometimes there is not enough love, or it's the wrong kind of love, or the negatives outweigh the benefits that the "love" has been bringing you.

Sometimes learning these great truths can shake you to the core and leave you sobbing. Sometimes it can make you want to finish that book or that crossword puzzle you started. Sometimes both.