Friday, October 21, 2011

The Opposite of

I have been feeling well.  I worked on putting the Christmas lights on my Hawthorn tree.  I know it is early days, but I was so in love with it last year, I vowed to repeat it and to start when the weather was more mild.  I would be fine with leaving it on all year like Italian restaurants are allowed.  Every single time I would drive by my property at night I would feel gladness to see it.  Anyway, I enjoyed it and made some decent progress and the weather was wonderful.  But I had to stop sooner than I wanted to because every time I came down  the ladder I got all woozy.  A little wooziness doesn't bother me.   I used to go to great trouble and expense to artificially create that feeling. But I am a little too old to be hopping about on my prosthetic devices and had the wisdom to stop.  Only after I noticed each time the wooziness became a little more pronounced.

Then I worked on the cover pic.  I give up.  I will use the one I am not too thrilled with.  I need to get on with this.  If I improve it, replacing it will be no big deal.  Then I proofed a bit and found some hilarious errors.  I changed a few words but no ideas.  I like the "wrap-up" chapter and I was a little worried about it seeming corny.  But I have heard it is the usual for the genre.  I am getting so artsy fartsy serious about this project that started out as a little off shoot of my madness. The worst thing that can happen to a person is to start to take themselves too seriously.  Seriously.

So I have been sitting here a while, played a Big Fish Game, slow but decent art, so I persist, and blog surfed.  My hands are starting to hurt so it is almost nighty night for me.  BUT.

I have gone on this huge rant at least twice about having my ideas copied, and have placed a huge emphasis on the word SERENDIPITY (it being the subject and perhaps cause of the rant.) , to the point where even I am sick of the sound of it.  But weirdness happened tonight and I actually went to to find out what would be the antonym for serendipity.  The best they could come up with is volition and that is not in the park where I am currently playing.  Serendipity is when you happen by chance on good or pleasant things.  What is it when you happen by chance on a whole string of incredible downers?  Blog surfing can be bad for your health.  You know how they group them on Blogger?  Like a bunch in Spanish or a bunch about photography?  I came upon one about the still birth of a baby.  Twelve seconds to click onward for that one, thanks.  Then a lovely young man had a whole blog devoted to his suicide, and these, no kidding were interspersed with advertisements about funeral homes, a story about what life held in store for a recent graduate of a school of funeral science (or what ever the fuck you would call that)  and a story about this historical cemetery that is falling into ruin and it was sold to a concerned care taker.  (Well, more than twelve seconds on that one.) I think the reason my hands are starting to hurt is I was too quickly clicking through these.  I wonder what kind of day the Google employee was having when he worked on that category.  Anyway, it was a stupid way to end a nice day.  And I'm not going to turn on the TV cuz last night I watched that whole movie where you don't realize George Clooney is actually dead until just the second before they roll the credits. (Have you noticed that the very handsome George Clooney has a VERY SMALL typically Irish nose?  Do you know what that means traditionally?  So sad.)

Well, I started reading Bret Lott's "JEWEL" this afternoon and was caught up in it, but I don't think I am going to continue with it tonight. I wish I knew where I could chance, serendipitously on something on the order of the "fucking yogers", or at least find that little corner in my mind from whence  that arises.

Geez.  I hope you are not reading this at bedtime.  What is WRONG with me?  And I honestly don't feel really depressed about this.  I feel kind of silly.

Down, down, down, the mountain.     

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