Saturday, February 28, 2015

That's All Folks

No books for sale at Amazon anymore.

They made me take them down for some copyright problem. May get around to fixing 5 manuscripts.

Meanwhile, Smashwords, who always did more for me anyway.

Thursday, February 12, 2015

Tuesday, February 03, 2015

My Fitbit and Me

I received a Fitbit for Christmas.  No insult.  I wanted one.  I had a little trouble putting it on, but with the help of three people, I figured it out and now I can do it all by myself.  I had a little trouble understanding how to use it.  Where to look for help is a little confusing, but customer service is really nice.

It kind of bothered me that I could run up and down two flights of stairs all day doing laundry and it would say I took five steps, but I try not to put it in context, and as long as it says I walked more or burned more calories I am fine with that.

I had a little difficulty understanding the sleep program which I was particularly interested in.  This is where info conflicted, but I set it up.  First time it said I slept seven minutes.  Probably not accurate, but whatever. I wore it constantly and thought I was aces.  I even wore it in the shower sometimes.  Only sometimes.  It says it is shower proof, but you are not going to pull the wool over this old girl's eyes.  Usually.

Then one night, I set it for going to bed.  I guess they don't care what you do in there.  The next morning I took it off to get in the shower and forgot to put it back on right away.  When I noticed that, I put it on and went to my computer to see what it said.  It said I slept for 68 hours.

For my age, I think I am doing fairly well with all this technology stuff. 

Monday, February 02, 2015

Thanks For What?

Let’s try third person. Probably inappropriate story, so maybe you don’t want to read it.

The Most Horrible Thanksgiving Ever Which Blighted Many More and Occasionally Echoes

Once a very young and pregnant girl was due December 18. She ordered special toys and a furry white bunting for the baby. But the baby was stillborn on November 18th.

On the way to auntie Edie’s traditional Thanksgiving feast, the young girl with the aching breasts and broken heart spent the ride thinking how she would be expected to not be grim and ruin everyone’s day. She practiced a cheerful countenance. She wore bright clothes.

There was a gruesome accident on the interstate. At least 3 ambulances were having gurneys wheeled into them. Arriving at the destination, cheerful auntie inquired about the niece’s well being. After all, the girl had 6 or 7 days to get over her trauma, which, in those days, no one acknowledged. When the girl mentioned the horrible accident, of course symbolizing her personal loss, she began to weep. Auntie Cheer said one should count one’s blessings and give thanks for them on this wonderful day which was cold, grey and drizzly. A cousin, a Jesuit priest, you know, the guys that ran the Spanish Inquisition and invented waterboarding, said he heard she lost a baby and better luck next time.

When the broken girl returned the expensive fuzzy bunting, the store clerk said, “Didn’t it fit?” The young lady said, “The baby died.” When she left the store, she felt she had been very cruel to the clerk.

This is why Xanax is such a popular drug. It fills the holes in the brain and the heart. No. It puts band-aids on them.

Image Attribution:

Sunday, February 01, 2015

Never Let It Go

Of all sad words of tongue or pen, the saddest are these, "It might have been".