Friday, September 18, 2015

Pope Redefines Charity

The head of the Roman Catholic Church, of which I was formerly a holy card carrying member, announced today, barely able to contain his utter glee, that the commonly used word"charity" has been redefined. Formerly equated with good deeds, as in Christian Charity or the well known Catholic Charities, the word's primary meaning has been altered to "blackmail", announced the infallible head of one of the world's larger and more respected religions. 

Official decree attached. 

Any non-adherence to the new doctrine will qualify as the type of sin known as "mortal".

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