Tuesday, December 13, 2005

An Attempt

This is Cassie and Ben. They are so beautiful.
I am going to try to copy a link here. It is for a commercial. BestCommercial.asf (2.6MB) I don't know if it is usable cuz I haven't paid too much attention to the rules for this place.

I had a really weepy day, and this commercial made me pretty much weepier. Fran sent me a photo of Ben that is just too cute. And it cheered me up to see it, but it, of course, also made me weep. I thought that part of my life would be over when I reached this age, considering PMS and all that goes with it is supposedly behind me. Anyway, I have to spend a few minutes real soon figuring out how to post photos(did it!)and I want to change the template so the ads are alongside instead of at the bottom. I know how to do that, but it is always so late when I get here, I have no energy left to concentrate.

Tomorrow I go to Bradley Counseling Center with Bill. I hope the weepies are over when I get there. I hope the counselor takes the lead as I will not know where to start. I suppose, if I have to, I can just start by saying the school wants the medical diagnosis. I will of course share the outcome as I will need to vent.

This whole Christmas thing is getting me down. I am still so in love with my tree that I sit and stare at it. Today I thought it was an interesting display of so many different takes on the face of Santa Claus. But the actual Christmas event, present wise, is going to be such a drag. The whole Billy thing is just affecting my outlook and moods way too much. He gets to go to Shop With a cop Thursday, and they let him, supervised by the cop, and with a list from home, spend $100 and the twins are too old to go. And today, his paternal grandparents sent him a $75 gift card from Wal-Mart. The twins dad sends them nothing. And we got them a great gift they will love, but we can't keep up with what Billy is getting. And the irony is that every Christmas in memory, he has said, "Is that all there is?" when the gifts were opened. He needs nothing, and appreciates nothing and I got him this huge RC truck cuz I got Ben one on the tenth which was Ben's fourth birthday, and I try to keep stuff fair. So, I just hope the twins don't feel like a couple of left out bums. I know they are older and should just be grateful and not selfish, but with a mom and a dad that get them nothing, I am pretty sure the inequalities will hurt. I do not look forward to the actual 25th of this month.

The card that came from Billy's grandparents said, "We don't know if we will see you before Christmas since your dad is away again." He was to go to court the Monday after Thanksgiving and I said to Bill Sr. Let us know what happens. And of course, we did not hear. And I decided not to ask what happened since they act so oddly about it. So I am guessing that the message in the card means he was sentenced, and I will have no clue about how long or what to say to Billy. So we will just let this hang and Billy will not wonder at all why he doesn't see his dad for the next few years. Okay.

More later on this jolly holiday season...

Thursday, December 08, 2005


It has been a while since I wrote here. My responsibilities to my public are beginning to overwhelm me. (facetiousness...)

Since I upped my Wellbutrin dose, it is a little more difficult to be creative, but in truth I am usually not very creative here, am I? And I find myself, on other forums, going on and on. So I will try to be a little more responsible about keeping my blog up to date.

We actually need to move Lisa to her own place. There is no question about whether she needs to live on her own. Her attitude toward this family is unacceptable, to say nothing of the physical and emotional toll she exacts. The question is whether it will be good for Bill, or not. And Bill has to go live with her. He adores her so. The way he acted out last summer, when she was not living here, was too bizarre. All we can do is make sure the social services are in place to help them out. Having talked to a psychiatrist, a psychologist, and two social workers about this, I will be able to live with my decision to let him go with her. And I am so looking forward to a little peace and order in my life. The New Year is so far offering many promises.

I am receiving feedback about my worship blog, and I hope it will lead to interesting discussion. The pastor of the bible based non-denominational church my grandkids have been attending has folded his tent and moved on. His adulterous relationship with one of the ladies of the congregation received a little too much publicity. I am so annoyed that this is another case where people stood up to tell others the right way to live your life, and even go so far as to compare my "Wrong" way to their "Right" way, when they are fully incapable of identifying their own sins. And it is not just the adultery. In the Catholic Church, if you bring scandal to the Church, or commit it in the Church's name, it is in itself a grievous sin. This guy having the respect and the ear of all these little kids really frosts me. One day it is, "Oh, I know Cliff, and he is a great guy." The next day, "What a complete jerk." Just one more reason why I so strongly feel that the deal between you and God has to be the deal you cut yourself.

So, dear Louie, the spouse with the computer operated heart and the frozen shoulder, just finished spending forty minutes in the garage looking for the tow chain. One of his pals got his pickup stuck in the mud the other day, and then the mud froze. I cautioned him about getting too involved with the helping in this project, but I better spend a few minutes going over the insurance policies again. Meanwhile, I fell sideways over the snowy frozen construction project that is my front stoop.

I have been thinking for three years about putting up a larger Christmas tree cuz we have that huge peaked space in the parlor. So this year I did it. It is nine feet and turned out so well. I have not devoted so much energy and concentration on a project in a long time. I feel so pleased with the success of it, I sit at dinner and gape at it. I have to figure out how to put photos on here. Can't be too hard. Anyway, I wish I could rustle up that enthusiasm for my tile project, but I have made a little progress, and the last batch went very well. But the blocks of time still pose a problem. Yesterday was supposed to be empty and I was all fired up to tile but one phone call led to another and then an orthodontic emergency developed and the day was shot. Moving the boxes of tile around is the worst part. Fran said there is too much junk in this house. Yes.

Okay, not too much going on and no amusing anecdotes, just trying here to get back into the blogging. Let me hear from you.