Thursday, December 29, 2011

Half a Beat

No matter what can be said about politics or the economy, I have to say 2011 was a year of learning for me.  I know we are always learning, but never have I been so aware of learning such major life changing truths, life-changing at least for me.  The most important thing to me, that has affected my life more than anything, is that you can never know another person.  Your perception of that person is what you think is knowledge of that person, but it has nothing to do with who that person is. And that is fine if you are comfortable with your perception and comfortable with your own take on who that person is. I think the reason it was such a big deal for me is that it involved a long term relationship I had that went by the wayside. I felt not that I didn't know who that person really was, but that she had no clue what so ever of where I was coming from or why I thought the things I thought or said. Forty years of fakery as far as I am concerned. Then, when I was pretty much through rebounding from that, the knowledge helped me get through a huge emotional upset in my immediate family.  So now, I will just take it all with a grain of salt and not let it affect the way I live my life.  Partly, that is easier because of the point I am at in my life.  I would be on the shrink couch every day had this happened when I was 22.

Then, we went to take holiday pics of the new baby and her brother and I sat there the whole time thinking, what does that guy do for a living, why would she marry him much less breed with him, he looks like he has a bad smell, that baby is funny looking, they should wait and take his picture when or if he gets cuter, why didn't the mom fix that girl's hair first, gee, that kid's voice is loud and high pitched, why would you put that same hideous sweater on all of your kids for a life long memory of a holiday, my grandson is so f-ing handsome, mom better hurry up and give him the facts of life talk cuz  they are gonna be all over him in a year or two, my granddaughter is so cute, even when she glowers, oh, my god they must hate my daughter, she is so pretty and her kids are the only cute ones here, and Cassie looks so cute in those jeans.  Is this perception or reality?  I no longer know.  Or perhaps I don't trust my judgment anymore having made such huge mistakes about people throughout my life.  I am doing some work on my third book and I wanted to get these two people together and I was having a heck of a time figuring it out.  But now I figured it out.  If you love someone, you just love them.  Even if it's your deluded  perception. That's why God invented that special kind of pain that goes with love.

I like the show Bones.  More than I like the books.  I suspend belief.  The relationship between Booth and Bones is so cute.  No, it is totally bizarre and unrealistic actually, but I love them. I am so glad they are together. And right the head of the lab would wear THAT dress to work in a path lab.  But it is one of my favorite shows.  I rent the dvds at the library. I play catch up on On-Demand.  I tried to watch a new show with a similar theme.  Forensic medicine is  huge lately. I don't recall the name but Dana Delaney is in it and I heard it was good.  Every single meaningful glance, "How will she respond to this?"  "How should I respond to that?" went on a beat too long. The characters could have been computer generated.  I hated it. And, who knows, maybe it is great.  Maybe it is my perception.  There was this actress.  She was the Charlie girl, and then they tried to make her an actress, (I won't say her name).  They even gave her her own series. One of those algorithms telling them where the money comes from I guess.  Every word out of her mouth was a half a beat off.  It drove me up the wall. I saw her in a little bit part on some police procedural drama, and she  had improved.  Or my perception had changed.

I got a great review that was just the kind of language I understand. "Crazy good read." Which is exactly what I write, y'know?  And then I am nosing around today and someone on Apple gave me  one star cuz it jumped all over the place.  Umm, no.  It is totally  linear,time-wise, age-wise, story wise.  And who cares,their loss,  they missed the nursing scene and that great blizzard and some other good stuff.  But I clicked to see what else they had reviewed and they had given five stars to the app for ordering pizza from Pizza Hut.  So it is always nice to have your pride and conceit taken down a peg or two and realize the company you are in, who you are sharing that bookshelf with.  At least I have to be glad it wasn't a three star pizza ordering app.

I think the only way you are going to get read is if your work gets to the people that perceive life in a way similar to yours. So far they are few and far between, but, God, how I love them. Cuz they get "me".  My ex-friend didn't. My husband doesn't. But someone did.  So now I don't have to die with my song still in me. Someone heard this little bird.

Tuesday, December 27, 2011


Do not try that new Blogger interface.  It is AWFUL.  Stats are unfindable.  It took hours to get back to the original which I found by accident by clicking that little gear picture.  Panic. . .

Blog Hop

The boxing day blog hop is going on yet.  Just scroll down a few entries to the links.  It won't hurt.  I will go back and check the ending days.

Self Censorship

I didn't cave into a censor.  I considered his remarks and decided he was right, that the Christmas cartoon might seem in bad taste to many, so it is gone.  Still, folks, remember.  I am really tired of hearing that Yes, Virginia joke.  

Monday, December 26, 2011


Bad start to the day with emotional interchange about visiting my grandson. He's here and all is fine.   Then:

Four star review from Barnes and Noble:   "Crazy good read".

 Bipolar overload

Jenny is one bipolar crazy woman. She climbs into her best friend Barney's window as a young teen and begs for him to teach her about sex but it leads to a connection that neither of them can ever let go of even through marriages and children. While Jenny will always love Barney, she loves her actor husband Daniel too and they all have to learn to live with her actions and her condition. Crazy good read but after 600+ pages, the ending seemed kind of abrupt.

That's 600 Nook pages, guys, so don't worry. Sort of a series  And everything works out for all my guys so better keep reading!!.  I couldn't be happier with this person's choice of words.


Here are the links for the BOXING DAY BLOGHOP.  You should find the link to the next one at each site.  There are puzzles and giveaways.  My giveaway link is posted at the bottom of this list.  I am a novice at this so I hope it works out well for all of you and I hope you had a wonderful Holiday.  Thanks for stopping by.

14. http://bullprotettoremurdermysteries.blo...

I am giving away a free download of SACRED SIN. It is available until January 15, 2012.
Here is the link!

This is a modern love story with  some explicit content.
reply | flag *

Saturday, December 24, 2011



Wednesday, December 21, 2011

Indie Publishing--an Analogy

(Loudly blowing horn. . .)

I'm an "Indie Publisher".  That covers a lot of ground:  self-published, Kindle, Smashwords, Indie Press and others.  It was a combination of impatience and snobbery that led me down that path.  I don't even fit the amorphous indie model.  I write street language, infidelity, God dropping in for an occasional remark or two.  But it's good.  It's light, fast, fun, irreverent, sexy and not dirty.  I don't think a good BJ scene has to be dirty, with a lot of slobbering,  romantic over-the-top description of the penis,  submissive behavior, and a bossy guy to be realistic or good or sexy.  I'm probably one of  a very few that can write a sexy BJ scene that is nice.  Lora Leigh's are f-ing scary.  Rate 'em.

And then when the rejection letters came filled with poor grammar, misspellings, missing words, (fill in the blank in their form letters where they could not bother to fill in the blank) and obvious signs that they never looked at the work, well, I love you, Betsy, but fuck 'em.

So a new track ball on the desktop pc, a new laptop, and an illness have kept me away from my creative endeavors and I have been watching movies. Last night I fell asleep watching Teeth which was about vagina dentata and sucked, which I realize is an oxymoron. But, when I woke, I was wide awake and it was quite late so I surfed Starz On Demand, and started to watch The Cleaner. Did you ever hear of it? I haven't.  Samuel L. Jackson, who has been in some turkeys, but was doing an excellent job of being Samuel L. Jackson, always his best role.  That beautifully aging fox, Ed Harris.  Complex plot. Little straggling octopus threads grabbing you right off.  Good subplot with Jackson's daughter, not thrown in, important, interesting. You know how in Transporter Jason Statham goes up to the wrought iron gate of the manse and it's what's her name --Amber Valletta?-- and it rates him a huge cardboard statue in the theater lobby?  Well, Jackson goes up to the wrought iron gate and it is Eva Mendez doing her usual wooden Barbie thing, but being very beautiful and just interesting to watch, but no cardboard statue for Jackson.  Alicia Silverstone as Jackson's office manager looking better than she ever did, (needed a little more of her acerbic commentary here).

So here's my point.  They have algorithms.  And Alvin and the Chipmunks gets the play, the licensing, the press. Pirates of the Caribbean--you see how much those fucking Legos cost.  Cleaner gets shit.  Probably went straight to Video.

I write The Cleaner of love stories.  Lora Leigh writes the Alvin and the Chipmunks or The Transporter of love stories. Harlequin Press has its algorithms, probably constructed by the same programmer that said Alvin and the Chipmunks would make millions.  I walked the walk.  Alvin didn't. We can't fit any agent's algorithm.  Too bad for them.  A couple of four star reviews by strangers that indicate they actually got what I was writing tell me I did good.  Maybe not for the fans of The Tortured Love of the Troubled Duke or Alvin, but good enough to appeal to the same people that surf for a good movie to watch--and occasionally find one. Maybe not great, but good.  And enjoyable.  I got more than 900 downloads from Barnes and Noble for my Lawman freebie and 21 of those people bothered to rate it so far, and some were four stars. I can still walk the walk. Pay attention to my name.

I am feeling waaay better, and I told you you were gonna get it.

Tuesday, December 20, 2011

Stuck in the Middle

Just don't forget, guys.  Lawman doing well on Barnes & Noble and Sony. Inching along on Amazon, but still alive.  SACRED SIN doing great with freebie at Smashwords.  I wish I knew something about marketing trends.
The Maze is for sale at Amazon, but I am working on an edited edition. Can't put links as I am not home.  Hang in there with me okay?

Wednesday, December 14, 2011


Louie bought me a laptop computer for Christmas.  Louie bought me a laptop computer for Christmas last year.  We could not get on the internet or do any thing with it, so it was all "blamed" on the local wi-fi connections and the router we were using and it went back to the store.  It was unusable.  So THIS YEAR he bought me the exact same one Cassie bought because she took it out of the box and got everything up and working in about ten minutes.  We were not home when she did that.  That is, I was not home, and, more importantly, LOUIE was not at home.  A zillion years ago Louie's profession was going into banks and putting all their operations on computer.  Mind you, at that time, the computer took  up a whole room and had to have a special humidity and temperature controlled environment.  Sort of like back to the Jurassic period computer-wise. Therefore, he considers himself the know all end all of computer operation.  This can be visualized as the guy in the phone kiosk at the mall explaining an Android app to Alexander Graham Bell. So, he has been sitting at the dining room table for one and a half hours and he just gave up, saying it had sent him into outer space and he didn't know what to do now.  No.  We will not PAY the geek squad to come and help us.  It will go back to the store.

My only option will be to buy one on the QT and sneak it in the house when he is not home and have Cassie take it out of the box and set it up for me.  Meanwhile, I am doing fine on this old HP.  Just now he asked if the first part of our phone number was 265.  Jesus save me.

Think I will rustle up my vintage housewife pic.

Friday, December 09, 2011

Free download.

Another Freebie

SACRED SIN is available for free download from Smashwords until 1/15/12. It is a modern love story, somewhat racy.

This can be downloaded to any device or to your PC.

The free download of LAWMAN is over now. 

Getting Noticed

Wednesday, December 07, 2011


I am thunderstruck.  My world has tilted on its axis.  This is partially due to the shit load of codeine that I am ingesting and partially due to the fact that I discovered something today called the affiliate sales site on Smashwords.  God bless Barnes and Noble.  Long may they prosper.  I have a new outlook on life, on my work, on me.

I hope I still have it when the antibiotics and the codeine are gone. 

Tuesday, December 06, 2011

Giving In To the System

I gave in and went to the dr. and got antibiotics and some lovely, dreamy, special cough syrup.  I know I was being stubborn but I have had enough lectures on "It's a virus.  Antibiotics won't help it."  Actually I set the galleys on that book for Contemporary Press.  So I waited the whole twelve days.  Viruses are supposed to go away in ten. So in a couple of days you are going to get it from me big time, and I'm not talking about my cold.  The thing is, you slack off a few days and the attention just fades away.  What is wrong with you?  Where do your loyalties lie?  When I am needing you the most, where are you?  You know how bad this was?  Louie folded my laundry for me.  Forty seven years that took.  Please.  A cool cloth and a few There, there's is all I ask. I've been so good to you.  Well, except for that little fire I started on Mises.  That did distract me a bit.  They know about loyalty at least. 

Thursday, December 01, 2011

Another Freebie

SACRED SIN is available for free download from Smashwords until 1/15/12. It is a modern love story, somewhat racy.

The free download of LAWMAN is over now.