Tuesday, December 13, 2005

An Attempt

This is Cassie and Ben. They are so beautiful.
I am going to try to copy a link here. It is for a commercial. BestCommercial.asf (2.6MB) I don't know if it is usable cuz I haven't paid too much attention to the rules for this place.

I had a really weepy day, and this commercial made me pretty much weepier. Fran sent me a photo of Ben that is just too cute. And it cheered me up to see it, but it, of course, also made me weep. I thought that part of my life would be over when I reached this age, considering PMS and all that goes with it is supposedly behind me. Anyway, I have to spend a few minutes real soon figuring out how to post photos(did it!)and I want to change the template so the ads are alongside instead of at the bottom. I know how to do that, but it is always so late when I get here, I have no energy left to concentrate.

Tomorrow I go to Bradley Counseling Center with Bill. I hope the weepies are over when I get there. I hope the counselor takes the lead as I will not know where to start. I suppose, if I have to, I can just start by saying the school wants the medical diagnosis. I will of course share the outcome as I will need to vent.

This whole Christmas thing is getting me down. I am still so in love with my tree that I sit and stare at it. Today I thought it was an interesting display of so many different takes on the face of Santa Claus. But the actual Christmas event, present wise, is going to be such a drag. The whole Billy thing is just affecting my outlook and moods way too much. He gets to go to Shop With a cop Thursday, and they let him, supervised by the cop, and with a list from home, spend $100 and the twins are too old to go. And today, his paternal grandparents sent him a $75 gift card from Wal-Mart. The twins dad sends them nothing. And we got them a great gift they will love, but we can't keep up with what Billy is getting. And the irony is that every Christmas in memory, he has said, "Is that all there is?" when the gifts were opened. He needs nothing, and appreciates nothing and I got him this huge RC truck cuz I got Ben one on the tenth which was Ben's fourth birthday, and I try to keep stuff fair. So, I just hope the twins don't feel like a couple of left out bums. I know they are older and should just be grateful and not selfish, but with a mom and a dad that get them nothing, I am pretty sure the inequalities will hurt. I do not look forward to the actual 25th of this month.

The card that came from Billy's grandparents said, "We don't know if we will see you before Christmas since your dad is away again." He was to go to court the Monday after Thanksgiving and I said to Bill Sr. Let us know what happens. And of course, we did not hear. And I decided not to ask what happened since they act so oddly about it. So I am guessing that the message in the card means he was sentenced, and I will have no clue about how long or what to say to Billy. So we will just let this hang and Billy will not wonder at all why he doesn't see his dad for the next few years. Okay.

More later on this jolly holiday season...

1 comment:

  1. I recently spoke with one of my dear, dear friends about Christianity, and my feelings about hypocrisy related to it. I told her that the whole idea of not repenting really bothers me. She told me to read Romans 10. I asked her what it says. She told me that it says that along with "saying the words" regarding accepting Jesus in your heart, you also must "feel them in your heart". I think a lot of people either forget, skim over, or just disregard that part of it for, dare I say, public purposes. Those people who go to church every Sunday, or perhaps even more often, yet fail to do the things that actually "make" you a "good Christian". Actions speak louder than words, people, and we ALL need to remember this before we worry so much about "saying the words".

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