Tuesday, February 12, 2013


(If you actually read this, at the end google bandini.   There are so many restaurants with that word in the name it is to laugh.)

I never heard of Bandini until I met my husband.  It is the brand name of a then popular kind of fertilizer that was cow manure--bull shit, actually.  So "Bandini" was used euphemistically in some more proper circles when someone wanted to call someone out for bullshitting, figuratively speaking.

I get restless watching TV and I spend way too much time on the computer for one reason or another.  I had the habit of commenting on everything, inserting my two cents rather anonymously, although I never made a secret of who I was.  The truth is, I don't socialize much in real life.  My aggravation threshold is very low.  Step over it and I have to leave, right away usually.

So for one reason or another, I came across this blog and the admin said he had received this story on one of his confessional blogs and what was our take on it.  It was a story about a female that had five or six friends with benefits at the same time and then she moved away and she missed them and how good she felt when they emailed her and said they missed her also.  It did not comment on whether she felt victorious for functioning like this or felt guilt, or felt shame, or even felt shallow.  She just commented on that stage in her life and was not asking for judgement or advice.  The admin merely asked our take on it and I sounded off after several people roundly criticized her.  I mentioned that I could not imagine five or six guys going along with that but if even one of them felt he needed fidelity she either had to give him fidelity or leave him out of the loop and no one should judge.  It was up to her if she preferred to act that way if she was responsible and honest.

Okay?  Shit storm.  Several people said it would come back to bite her on the ass that when she wanted a serious relationship the paramour would judge her on her past behaviors and I mentioned briefly that he shouldn't, that levels of trust had to be equitable, etc.  One person said she was sorry for her reply.  I said there was no reason for that and she went on and on about why she offered the apology and the spirit it was offered in and how she felt I should respond to it.  So I said, "I am leaving this discussion.  Your remarks are self-serving and not part of what the conversation was about."  So she and the admin messaged me a few times and the admin said he hoped the two of us would kiss and make up and the atmosphere was supposed to be friendly.

She was a troll and she was trying to pick a fight so the discourse would continue.  It could have continued ad infinitum if the participants had kept the conversation relevant to the original proposition.  But she was intellectually incapable of that  (yeah I am a snob) and referred in her remarks that if her "presumed future boyfriend" was a "DJ" and talked to other girls, etc.  WTF.  Is she twelve?  Also I looked up his "other" blogs. He said he had been so busy because one got over 200 spams a day.  They did not/do not exist. 

When he said he hoped we would kiss and make up she said, "Awww.  When you said we should 'kiss and make up' I got all smiley and had little fits of giggles."  I though I might barf.  I cannot tell you how judgmental the thoughts in my mind were concerning every aspect of her biography.  And I venture now to say they were probably spot on.   I am surprised I actually did not say anything,  I am glad that my ability to tolerate this bullshit has improved so much that I stuck to my guns and did not comment any further. 

I feel like they let the air out of my balloon.  I am having so much trouble working on my WIP which I like so much I have even researched about it.  I feel like a spark is gone.  I feel that everyone is either a complete ninny or an insane anarchist. I feel like I finally have been completely smothered under a truckload of Bandini.

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