I lifted the following quote from the blog of Tetman Callis who very graciously attributed it, I am assuming correctly. Now all I want to do is read about why they posited this and what are the statistics and the control group, and what were they searching for when they did the study and has it been proven and when does it apply. Certainly not to the written word which means it probably only is applicable or even useful if you are a lawyer arguing in court, or maybe President Obama.
"We hear communications experts telling us time and again about things like the ‘7-38-55 rule,’ first posited in 1971 by UCLA psychology professor Albert Mehrabian: 55 percent of what you convey when you speak comes from your body language, 38 percent from the tone of your voice, and a paltry 7 percent from the words you choose. Yet it’s that 7 percent that can and will be held against you in a court of law.” — Brian Christian, The Most Human Human
Showing posts with label Betsy Lerner.. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Betsy Lerner.. Show all posts
Tuesday, October 04, 2011
Sunday, September 25, 2011
Left Handed Compliments
Sometimes it doesn't sink in right away, and if you get it right away, it is difficult to say "Thanks for the compliment." because, at the moment, you may not be sure that's what it is.
I walked into Lord and Taylor and there was this outfit on the mannequin, a bright emerald green silk jacket and a fuchsia silk shell and I bought it and I got lots of compliments. But one of them didn't sink in til much later. I wore it a lot and never took credit for figuring it out. Oprah says she buys what's on the mannequin, so I don't mind saying that. It's nice though when someone says it looks good on you. (You have to agree. ) But a year later I walk into a family event and a family member has on the outfit in slightly more subdued shades, and looks at me like "I'm glad you didn't wear that today, and, yeah, I got the idea from you." She looked really nice in her outfit and I took it as a compliment.
Then there are the quickies: In high school Mary Ann Perry asked me if I wore "falsies" (yeah, I'm that old) and I didn't. But I took it as a positive remark. I had a really great figure when I was younger and yeah, I worked it.
"Do you dye your hair?" No, I don't but if it looks like I spent money on it that's okay with me.
"Auntie Virginia doesn't look old enough to have a daughter as old as Lisa." Well, that one is complicated, but I think it falls on the credit side of my balance sheet. At work, my birthday, "How old are you?" "Thirty two." "Wow, you should wear a t-shirt that says 'I'm thirty two'. No one will believe it." Yeah, I worked out every day, and yeah, it was during my self-acknowledged peak years.
Ten year high school reunion: "I wish I'd known you were going to turn out like this," Okay. All these indicate I am extremely shallow and that is another thing that is a major component of my personality that I will never deny. But I think this one is the best:
SOMEONE read my book. It happens. Anyway, the person commented that my characters were amoral and what made it worse was that they were parents. (Jesus, save me. I wish I had such clear cut parameters in my own life.) Then it made my face feel all hot and embarrassed. But, shucks, the book is not about the Amish and the person knew that going in. Even wanted to know what pages the "good stuff" was on. But, of course, given my mind, this percolated for quite a while. And, maybe it is my tendency to try and turn a negative around, or maybe I have to rationalize criticism, but he finished the book. AND he invested in MY characters and JUDGED THEM. So I created characters. I am basically thrilled at this point. Well, feeling kind of warm and fuzzy about it, at the least. Anyway, I know they are not amoral, and I love them. I think I love them even more now.
http://www.amazon.com/dp/B005H3EW3Q
http://www.amazon.com/dp/B005KN6S4E
I walked into Lord and Taylor and there was this outfit on the mannequin, a bright emerald green silk jacket and a fuchsia silk shell and I bought it and I got lots of compliments. But one of them didn't sink in til much later. I wore it a lot and never took credit for figuring it out. Oprah says she buys what's on the mannequin, so I don't mind saying that. It's nice though when someone says it looks good on you. (You have to agree. ) But a year later I walk into a family event and a family member has on the outfit in slightly more subdued shades, and looks at me like "I'm glad you didn't wear that today, and, yeah, I got the idea from you." She looked really nice in her outfit and I took it as a compliment.
Then there are the quickies: In high school Mary Ann Perry asked me if I wore "falsies" (yeah, I'm that old) and I didn't. But I took it as a positive remark. I had a really great figure when I was younger and yeah, I worked it.
"Do you dye your hair?" No, I don't but if it looks like I spent money on it that's okay with me.
"Auntie Virginia doesn't look old enough to have a daughter as old as Lisa." Well, that one is complicated, but I think it falls on the credit side of my balance sheet. At work, my birthday, "How old are you?" "Thirty two." "Wow, you should wear a t-shirt that says 'I'm thirty two'. No one will believe it." Yeah, I worked out every day, and yeah, it was during my self-acknowledged peak years.
Ten year high school reunion: "I wish I'd known you were going to turn out like this," Okay. All these indicate I am extremely shallow and that is another thing that is a major component of my personality that I will never deny. But I think this one is the best:
SOMEONE read my book. It happens. Anyway, the person commented that my characters were amoral and what made it worse was that they were parents. (Jesus, save me. I wish I had such clear cut parameters in my own life.) Then it made my face feel all hot and embarrassed. But, shucks, the book is not about the Amish and the person knew that going in. Even wanted to know what pages the "good stuff" was on. But, of course, given my mind, this percolated for quite a while. And, maybe it is my tendency to try and turn a negative around, or maybe I have to rationalize criticism, but he finished the book. AND he invested in MY characters and JUDGED THEM. So I created characters. I am basically thrilled at this point. Well, feeling kind of warm and fuzzy about it, at the least. Anyway, I know they are not amoral, and I love them. I think I love them even more now.
http://www.amazon.com/dp/B005H3EW3Q
http://www.amazon.com/dp/B005KN6S4E
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