It seems to be an effective parent, which I no longer want to be, I will have to go to law school.
My older daughter's ex is in jail. I do not know why fetishism is a crime and how serious a crime it is. I think, in order to provide my grandson with any kind of an explanation as to why his dad is incarcerated, I should have a working knowledge of wtf is going on. I was in discussions with the imprisoned person's sister, but apparently I overstepped my specified place in the situation, and they are no longer speaking to me about it. So I made up a little story about how Billy's dad went to visit his neighbor and, for some reason, this time she did not want to visit with him, and she became angry and called the police. He seems to have bought that. But, seeing him trying to deal with that, along with being abandoned by his mother, I have asked the schools to provide him with a little psychological counseling.
To further complicate my feelings about this situation, my older daughter's current boyfriend was recently arrested and is in the Cook County Jail with no bond. We have not even bothered to discuss this with her son. He barely knows Jody, the felon, having met him but once or twice, and I really think seeing this pattern in his mother's life will be overwhelming for him, especially considering the time frame. This has all happened in the last month.
I dare not muse, even momentarily, on why my daughter chooses companions of this type. But, it is definitely a pattern. Two former companions also spent time in jail, all, of course, for varying reasons. My wise older brother suggested that I think of it as poor choices on her part. I think, if she wants to correct this pattern, she needs to find answers within herself, preferably with a professional counselor helping her. But of course she would first need to get rid of the notion that she is a hapless bystander in life. And that ain't gonna happen for awhile...
So, when she first moved out, her son asked if he could have her room, a perfectly wonderful reaction in my book, and I am going to go out, right now, and by some beautiful blue paint for that room. Flat surfaces once again call to me.