I am trying to figure out something that is really bothering me. I read too many blogs on too many websites. It uses up way too much of my time. But I need to fill up the time since it seems my great professional writing career will never get off the ground, and was, apparently, just a reaction to the wrong medication. This is disappointing to me, needless to say. And I am not quite throwing in the towel yet. But I haven't had the courage to look at my manuscripts in quite a while. And the urge to start another is nonexistent. The whole time I was writing so prolifically, I was wondering where it all was coming from. I kept getting these ideas and running with them and asking myself where I got the ideas. I will probably find out in a few years that I actually wrote down word for word some story I read thirty years ago that was fermenting in the depths of my brain.
Anyway, the latest thing is that I have no patience with people that I personally feel take themselves too seriously. Why is that? Don't I take myself seriously? You know what? I don't think I do. I think I am afraid to. I think I am way too ready to back down. Not that I will surrender my principles or beliefs. I mean, I honestly do not care what you think about that. I go with what I am comfortable with. But some people tackle a philosophy and they dissect it ad nauseum, and end up with all these semantic distinctions and I counter with an absolutely true, practical, real-life example of what they are talking about and they cannot respond in a realistic way. They dissect my language or point out a typo. And I feel like I climbed up the pole and waved the flag and they all walked away. And a couple of them stopped and peed on the pole just to accentuate their disdain. I feel like they threw in the towel. (Maybe so I could wipe up the pee) And I guess I want them to say, "Yeah, Virginia. You are right. I was just being an asshole. I just like to spell long words correctly." But, seriously, even I don't believe that. I mean, maybe they have a point. I am just prepared to shoot them down and show them the errors of their ways, and I back it up with the truth. I always make sure the gun is loaded and cocked and I have an extra clip handy. Otherwise, I would not bothering aiming, much less entering into the fray. I do not even start on my theories about how I think God feels about it. Like recycling, and light bulbs. What would Jesus do? I can't even get there. No one will even say, "No shit. That really happened? You must be making it up." They just blather about lumens should be Lumen and watts should be Watt, like each and every light bulb is actually a tiny biography. C'mon. This is reality we are dealing with. I can't fucking stand it. We are going down the tubes here and all I've learned is that von Mises took on the economy and bureaucracy but would not address social issues. How can those things NOT all lean on each other? If you buy the cheap medicine you don't get well as quickly. Usually. A + B = C. Not A is one side of the coin and Q is the other side of the coin and that constitutes the Tao of knitting, or web surfing or porn addiction. It's blather. Stupidity is one side of the stupidity coin and stupidity is the other side of the stupidity coin and that is the freaking Tao of freaking stupidity.
And it seems I've been inspired to clean up my language just a little bit. Fuck that.