For those of you that have entered these hallowed halls eagerly anticipating the thrilling cable saga, I must apologize most humbly. I am unable to present it this evening. Please do not hold this against me and let me plead for you to continue your disproportionately appreciated patronage. I have a wonderful reason. It is valid and not to be mistaken for an excuse.
The part of my brain that exudes philosophical thought has swelled up. It hurts and I plan to take a shitload of drugs and ice it.