When I decided I was tired of dating, and wanted to get married, it was my choice. I had a set of criteria. I could have enumerated them to the candidates, but it would not have made any difference to them. These requirements were only important to me. The only requirement they had was to get the redhead in the sack at regular intervals, and if you tell me otherwise, you are a fucking liar and need to get in touch with your "Inner" self, part of that is found in your brain, and part of that is found in your heart. The sex thing is your "external' self. And we all know where you can find that.
intelligent enough to talk to.
good in the sack,
considerate lover, this does not transfer into real life. It is a very immediate choice they make in a given moment.
Would be good father material.
Had an education so he could make a good living. This does not transfer into real life. The y chromosome and ego-based power struggles, about dominance, confidence, can screw this one up big time.
My husband filled evey requirement very well, but as he aged and the marriage began to pall, he fell into the second part of the last requirement. I was very shallow and love did not enter into it for me. Three times I offered to let him go free and find his perfect wife. He didn't want to. I told myself I did love him, but sometimes my husband would say something about me loving him that left me thinking, where did he get that idea?
Kinda sad. Did some sampling, and there is no perfect guy. So I make them up. That is the greatest fun.