I couldn't stand to be in that room one more minute. I felt nothing but hate and frustration. Every time he tried to talk to me, I sneered. He put up with it because he thought he deserved it. That just pissed me off more because I was providing him with absolution. Thank God he fell asleep fast and I left the minute he did. I don't know what time it was.
We were in New London and there was a place the train went past this rock wall. I stood in a niche and the trains were so close I could touch them if I wanted. I remember thinking it was like those statues in church in their niches. Maybe I was tempted. I didn't feel suicidal or scared. I didn't feel anything. After a while I hunkered down and when the sky got light I went back to the room because I knew he'd be gone to the shipyard. I remember every stitch of clothing I had on, but a few days later, I went looking for the place and couldn't find it. I didn't know where I was. In so many ways.