Tuesday, October 09, 2012


I am afraid this post may be premature as it ties in with my latest release, OUTSIDE PLUMBING, which has only been out a few days, but it is too much with me and I have to write it now.

This is a picture that I first saw on Pinterest.  I am obsessed with it, partly because I wore that kilt as a skirt throughout my college years and actually some years after until it became horribly de trop.  I wore it so much I had to take it to a cobbler and have new leather straps put on it.  It wasn't an actual kilt but an imitative fashion item and had crummy straps on it from the manufacturer.  But it looked exactly like these.  I think that is tartan Campbell. It may be in the cedar chest as I loved it too much to ever part with it.

I recently published a non-fiction book called Outside Plumbing; the Myths of Manhood.  In it I wryly discuss at length, with anecdotal support, my theory that men have an innate vulnerability that females can never understand.  Because their sexual equipment is so exterior, they are always aware, even if subconsciously, of the need to protect it.  It is the necessary equipment to propagate the Human Race, a genetic imperative.  It must remain intact and healthy.   I actually discussed the kilt and the sporran in the book.

In this picture the guy to our left has the sporran hanging slightly to the side.  It is usually worn front and center.  Historically, like the codpiece, it was originally for protective purposes but evolved into a decorative and utilitarian object.  This guy could give less than  damn about protecting his genitalia. He is clearly announcing his utter confidence in his manhood.  Also, his arms are extended from his body to take advantage of the heat.  His chin is raised and his shoulders are slightly held back.  He is in an utterly non-defensive, vulnerable posture. Further, the actual flames, as photographed, are heading straight for his basic male superstructure. OMG.   

(I so wanted to say the flames are licking at him, but I felt that might be putting too fine a point on it.)

This guy is the hunk of all time as far as I am concerned and he exhibits confidence and maleness at every conceivable level.  I drool.

The guy to our right looks like he may be the brother.  Doesn't matter.  His muscles are actually more finely cut than the other guy's.  But his shoulders and upper body are leaning ever so slightly forward, his chin tilted slightly down and his hands are crossed in from of him in what I call the normal protective manner which any man seems to exhibit whenever he feels the least self-conscious.

Not that I wouldn't bid on either of them at a charity auction.  They are both gorgeous.  And one may well not be more self-confident than the other.  It is just that this photo illustrates so very clearly what I consider the males' relationship with his most basic manhood.

If I were 31 years old and knew what I know now and looked like I did then, I would be on the very next  plane to Scotland.

(I have unsuccessfully tried to source the photo).

1 comment:

  1. Anonymous6:23 PM

    That photo is one of my brother and I before we were exiled from 'Scootlan.' We had to change our names and therefor decided that a "---sky" on the end of the surname would best protect us. It was not our first exile. We were originally the remainder of the Romanoff family of tzar fame (you might have noticed the unique birthmark on my inside thigh if the sporran had not covered it. Of course that is me on the left and my unconfident brother on the right (he has a little Polish blood in him not that it really matters). If you need copyright agreement please send 42 zlotneys to PO box 34.5X2, Galicia, The Ukrain. An explanation may be necessary for the given name Waldo - - - it comes from my Germanic Uncle Gunter.


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